Inconsequential
by Woodrokiro
Summary: Four secrets Yusuke kind of regrets not telling Keiko... And one he doesn't. Oneshot/drabble for each secret. Rated T for language and slight sexual implications.
1. Truth: Keiko is Crazy

**Disclaimer: Yu Yu Hakusho wouldn't be half as awesome as it is if I owned it. Seriously.**

**Enjoy!**

...

He lied to her about liking another girl, once.

Granted, he was eight, so he figures you have to give him a little leeway. She had taken one of his recent proposals a little too seriously, and after pillaging her mother's old wedding magazines became obsessed with their own. Flowers, food, table settings, the theme, the dress- even as a child, _no _detail (except prices) escaped Keiko. Yusuke was able to tune out a lot of it for awhile-because, frankly, he had had suspicions that Keiko was nuts for a long time now- until she came to his house, dragging him from the front door to their spot at the river and explaining that they should play "Wedding Ceremony" for good practice.

Yusuke didn't know which was worse: the implications of the "game" they were about to play itself, or the crazed look in her eye. One thing is still sure today: he has never been that scared in his _life_.

"I- I can't!" He shrieked, horrified, and twisted his arm out of her grasp. She stopped short. Turning to him and cocking her head, the determination having (thankfully) been replaced by curiosity. "Why not?"

"Because... Because..." His eyes shifted to anywhere but her face, desperately trying to find a reason in a blade of grass or on the cuff of his sweatshirt. Suddenly, inspiration hit him.

Gathering all the fake seriousness and maturity he could muster (which at the time he thought was pretty damn good), he stood up a little straighter and look her right in the eye. "I like someone else," he answered gravely.

There was a bit of an eery silence, until she slowly looked down for some reason, bangs hiding her eyes. "Who?" She asked it so quietly he could barely hear her.

Well. He didn't think that far ahead.

Forgetting for a moment that he had to be oh-so-serious, he gave a small shrug. "Sayaka," he replied, the girl's face being the first to pop into his head. Sayaka was a girl in their class, someone that was okay-looking for a girl (and thus had cooties)-but he knew she had Transformers t-shirt, so that was pretty cool. He should have asked where she got-

Then he saw Keiko's chin wobble. And he swore he saw a fat tear run down her red cheek before she turned the other direction, running away after a short "all right."

At the time, Yusuke didn't know what he did wrong. Still, later that afternoon he found himself knocking on her front door. When she answered, he grabbed her by the hand and told her they were going to play that stupid game, with the one exception that they didn't have to kiss. She gave a sound of agreement behind him, a large smile growing on her small face.

Because as much as he abhorred the activity, a crying Keiko was never, _ever_ okay.

Yusuke knows he probably should of just told her he didn't like Sayaka, especially when Keiko started giving her a death glare every time she came within a four-foot radius of Yusuke-but he comforts himself with the thought that maybe she already knew. Girls-he thought then and still thinks today- just like to carry grudges.

... Did he also mention Keiko was crazy?

...  
><strong><br>A/N: **These were originally going to be one fat oneshot, buuuut this turned out longer than I suspected and I thought "Hey, why not make a chapter fic out it?"... Even though it's still oneshots, just pieced together... xP

Hope you enjoyed it thus far! Please review and stay tuned! x)


	2. The Devil Can Cite Scripture

**A/N:** This secret is set before the beginning of the manga and anime.  
><strong>Disclaimer for this chapter:<strong> **I still don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, as well as _Measure for Measure_, _Romeo and Juliet_, _Hamlet_, _Macbeth_, and _Jane Eyre_. Woe is me, but please enjoy!**

...

Yusuke... Kind-of-might-perhaps-sort-of like Shakespeare.

He knows. It weirds him out just saying it, believe him.

Don't get him wrong, he can't recite any of the playwright's lines and-like pretty much the rest of the world- doesn't understand what the crazy bastard's saying half the time.

But he gets the gist of it.

He gets that _Romeo and Juliet_ isn't really just a love story, but about impetuous decisions and the tragedies of street violence (this is his least favorite play, since he might be a little guilty of both... But he digresses). He understands that _Measure for Measure_ deals with the hypocrisy power creates and the maintaining of honor- not just some asshole trying to get into a nun's pants. He recognizes that while Hamlet is a whiny dumbfuck with a creepy crush on his mother, the play itself is about the consequences of seeking revenge and believing delusions.

... So he might of read the scholars' notes in the front of the books once or twice. Sue him.

Keiko, however, didn't know he knew any of this. In fact, she was relatively convinced that Yusuke couldn't even read.

Not that it really mattered, since schoolwork never came up in their conversations anyway. It was a topic that she thought was a hopeless cause, and Yusuke never bothered to enlighten her. He meant to keep it that way, too. It just almost... Slipped.

He had been walking her home from school fairly late in the afternoon, as student counsel duties kept her busy and a fight distracted him nearby (seriously, he wants to know what kind of death wish that Kuwa-something guy has). She was rambling on about what kind of homework she needed to finish-like he _cared_ or something- while he listlessly wondered whether he could snag something from her family's restaurant for dinner.

"... and _then_ I have to find quotations and explain how Macbeth's ambition ultimately lead to his killing Duncan," she sighed dramatically.

... He wasn't thinking, he really wasn't.

Yusuke snorted. "Please, his ambition wouldn't have done anything if it wasn't for his batshit wife. She's the one who started all that crap. It wasn't until afterward, when he went to see the hags again that the pansy could stand on his own two feet." He punched the crosswalk button with the side of his fist, walking when the light turned green. It wasn't until about four steps in that he noticed she wasn't following. He looked behind him to see her staring back, gaping.

"... What?"

She visibly swallowed. "Have you... Have you been paying attention in class?"

Realization dawned on him and drained a little color from his face. "No." The lie was out of his mouth before he processed it, and for this one time Yusuke was glad he said things before thinking. He turned, attempting to walk (subtly) faster.

Unfortunately, Keiko caught up with him. "Yes, you have. You must have."

"No, actually, I haven't." Yusuke doesn't remember a time in which his poker face was more useful. "I stole some of your notes. Unless you forgot about that nasty bruise you gave me last week in math, it isn't the first time, Keiko."

"You couldn't have. I was writing those notes today. We had just learned about Duncan's murder... I don't remember anything about Macbeth seeing the witches _again_, though. Unless..." Her eyes widened, and she grabbed his wrist, stopping them both. "... Oh my goodness. You- you read _ahead_, didn't yo-"

Just then, Yusuke used his other hand to flip up her skirt.

A last resort is never a bad thing to have.

She screamed, grabbing her skirt in one hand and dropping his wrist to hit him with the other. He was able to escape... Well, almost. Keiko's a damn fast sprinter, even in a skirt and a briefcase in tow. Still, it was a better outcome than the (horrifying) alternative.

Yusuke knows now that it wouldn't have been a big deal if he told Keiko he liked reading the guy. There might have been benefits, even. Keiko would have realized he wasn't all that ignorant after all, that he _did_ actually have an appreciation and decent understanding of the arts. There might have been less Keiko-smackdowns afterwards, too.

... Still. There was the inevitably strong possibility that she would have asked him to join her and her friends' book club. And that was something Yusuke could _not _have been able to handle.

After all: could you imagine him in a group of sniffling schoolgirls, tearfully discussing the beautiful relationship between Jane and Mr. Rochester in _Jane Eyre_?

Yeah. He didn't think so either.

...  
><strong><br>A/N: **Because you know Yusuke would totally (secretly) dig him. On that note, anybody else notice that a lot of the Shakespearian themes mentioned above can relate to at least one point in the series? Seriously. Think about it.

Anywho. Two down, three more to go! These first two were the clearest in my head, so it might take me awhile to get the third down on paper... Especially considering the fact that I'm thinking of scratching the idea I have and making a new secret. Which I don't know yet. Le sigh. Please review! x)


	3. Frustratingly Freakin' Cute

**Disclaimer: Please refer to the first or even second chapter :D**

**Enjoy!**

...

... He liked her hair in pigtails.

Not in a weird, sexual way. He does not- and never did- have any creepy pedo-fetishes for the schoolgirl/Lolita look. He likes women to look... You know. Womanly.

It was kind of... A gradual thing, so let him explain.

When they were younger, her mother would sometimes manage to force her to stay still and put her hair into them, but most of the time Keiko didn't have patience for anything other than a ponytail or small bauble (contrary to popular belief and any of her wedding obsessions, she was quite the little tomboy). Yusuke himself neither noticed nor cared, wanting only Mrs. Yukimura to finish quickly enough so they can go out and play sooner.

It wasn't until 7th... No, 8th grade? Something like that. It didn't even matter, because one thing's for sure: when she came out of her house to walk to school with him one morning, hair tied in two silky blue ribbons... It was then that his mind just kind of went blank.

He thinks walking with her that day was the first time he noticed she was actually a _girl_.

He couldn't even really explain it. They just... Looked nice on her. Yusuke never claimed to have fashion sense, but he later noted that she was the only one in their school who could pull off the innocent and girly hairstyle- though he knew she was far from innocent (he can still feel her burning slaps) and- as he noticed even faster- her growing hips and chest suggested she was becoming something _much_ more than a girl.

Still, Yusuke made it almost a daily routine to pull those disturbingly cute pigtails. Whether it was because of his frustration with them that not even he could understand, or because her hair actually felt really, _really _nice- he didn't know. She didn't know either, and would smack him or-in the case that they were in class- wordlessly turn around and (more-or-less) stab his hand with a pencil in turn.

He remembers one day being especially irritated about a fight he lost an hour before, and her just _happening _to come by (typical freaking Keiko-style) to begin lecturing him about his fights. The argument turned particularly heated, and he doesn't even know how it came into the conversation, but he said something about her stupid hair. He recalls very well her trademark lip quiver before she stormed off, roughly untying the ribbons as she went.

Yusuke knows he's done some dick-ish things, but never had he felt so much _like_ one before.

She didn't speak to him for another week until he couldn't take the silence and finally groped her. Yes, it was childish, but it was much easier than apologizing.

It was much simpler than explaining that, really, it wasn't even about the pigtails, that maybe it was the fact that _she _was wearing them that made them look good. That they looked better on her than any of the other girls at school. That she made everything look nicer, actually...

He wishes he could have told her this before he died the first time around.

...

**A/N:**Goodness, this was way harder than it should have been. Ah well, it turned out... How it turned out? You'll have to tell me in a review! :D

... I know. I'm supah sly. But please do review! x)


	4. A Half Truth Is A Whole Lie

**Disclaimer: Refer to the beginning of the first two chapters, kthxbye :D**

**Hope you enjoy!**

...

Lying to Keiko about his "other life" always left a bad taste in his mouth.

Especially right after the incident when she specifically _told _him to let her know what was happening within his "internship" since, really, being chased by your suddenly frothing, homicidal teacher deserves a pretty hefty explanation in itself. Still, he didn't tell her on that walk home; didn't explain that, hey, just for future reference: your childhood friend actually saved your life killing these four demons trying to wreak havoc in the human world by infiltrating these mind-controlling insects into people's brains. With a flute.

He reasoned it was because she would have thought he was a lunatic, but the truth was he still wasn't quite willing to deal with admitting that this crazy life was his.

Ironically, when she showed up to the Dark Tournament, he felt... Relieved. Maybe a little more on edge with the thought of her sitting next to bloodthirsty demons in the stadium, yes; but there was suddenly a sense of peace between them, a mutual understanding now that the truth was out. The proverbial monster was out of the closet, and she accepted him for it-simple as that. Whether this was surprising to him or not, he still doesn't know. What Yusuke _does_ recognize-without a doubt- is that this was the point where their relationship irreversibly changed. When they were no longer _just_ best friends or _just _two teens with a whole lot of sexual tension, but something else...

He didn't lie about his detective work to her again until Kiyoshi opened his trap about the video tape's details.

Yusuke _was _focused on the matter of his mission at hand, but hearing Keiko burst into tears behind him certainly did nothing for his concentration. As she left the room and all that saving-the-world-mumbo-jumbo was still at the forefront of his mind, a sudden realization had nagged at him from behind:

_This isn't the kind of world she should be living in._

On a subconscious level, he silently plotted. If she had to worry about these situations, then he could at least try to steer her away from them (_him_), right? Lying to her wasn't an option anymore. She was already involved, and she knew far too well by now to see or think that nothing in his life was wrong-

So he started mingling half-truths with exaggerations.

_I'm going to drag Kuwabara's ass back here, that's that_. (In actuality, he had already sensed beforehand he was getting into something much, much more than a kidnapping rescue.) _I'm gonna pummel the guy's face in, I promise_. (He didn't say whether he knew he himself was going to finish the job.) _I'm still me, you know._ (He _felt_ like himself, but the weird markings on his skin and that voice he heard had him doubting.) _I'm fine_. (Physically he was alive, the strongest in the world even; but this escalating craving for power left him feeling completely _hollow_.)

Toward the end, they started to become so half-assed (he was just getting so _tired _of this life) that both knew she saw right through them. Regardless, she never said anything other than a snappish "I get it, already" or "take care of yourself" before dropping the subject, whatever it was. At those times he thought it was because she knew it would be all right in the end... Because he said so. That she may not have believed him, but she _did _trust him.

While this in part was true, he always knew it would all eventually catch up with him.

_I'm gonna come back in three years and we'll get married. _This time, she didn't blush cutely and slowly nod like all those other memories from when they were kids. This time, she didn't bother to pretend. This time, she just shook her head and with a tired, heavy sigh only acknowledged that she loved him too. This time, she didn't believe in a damn word he said. He felt his smile break just a little bit because even _he _recognized that the first half of the claim was something very likely impossible, something almost bordering on a complete lie.

... But that second part? _That_-he made up his mind a long time ago- was going to be solid _fact_.

Yusuke made this his last exaggerated promise. He didn't come back in three years. He came back in two.

It may not have been the best apology (or even a proclaimed one, for that matter), but Keiko quickly forgave him for all his exaggerations, half-truths, lies- the whole deal.

Maybe she was able to see through them (_him_) this whole time.  
><strong><br>**...

**A/N: **Got this finally finished and turned in on my birthday... Ballin' xP But oh, readers. If you could only see how this fic in my writing journal has been assaulted with so many crossed out lines and new ones drown the pretty margins. I say this everytime, but I believe this was my most difficult. Especially that ending. I was going to stop sooner at a sadder ending, but I wanted the fic to kind of lead up to the last chapter. Which reminds me... One more to go! The next one should be easier, but I'm debating if it should be a simple and sweet (my ideas fit this option) or I should brainstorm to make it longer.

As for what I want for my birthday... A nice review would suffice :D (Obvious groveling is obvious). Hope you enjoyed!


	5. Knowing But Not Saying

**Disclaimer: I haven't said it in awhile, sooo... I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. Grar.**

**Please enjoy this last chapter! x)**

...

Yusuke knows he's lucky to have her. Like, _really_ lucky.

It's not that he considers himself a bad guy, because he doesn't. He's helped out his share of both strangers and friends in his life, and he figures saving the world a few times over earns him a "pretty damn decent guy" medal.

He just knows she could have done better.

She could have snagged a guy that would bring her flowers every night. She could have gotten the man that would _never_ forget their anniversaries, even though he also juggled a very high-paying job as a CEO of some company. She could have selected one who all of her friends liked, even making her the object of envy for others. The one that could put a rope of diamonds around her neck and _always_ make her happy.

But she didn't.

She didn't have to, but instead she chose the childhood best friend that made her late to class from the exertion of going to the rooftop and dragging him back with her. She picked the boy that made her cry more times than he could even count. She decided on the guy who picked fights with humans, then moved his way up (rather smugly) to demons. She walked home with the one who left her for two years and couldn't even bring her back a present, just- well... Himself.

Confessing to her that he's thought about any of this, however, isn't an option.

Because if there's anything more infuriating (and yet so damn beautiful) about Keiko, it's that she is _stubborn_.

He can see it all unfold. She would drop whatever she was doing, taking a moment to softly sigh and shake her head. She would take his face in both of her hands (actually, that part would be nice; he can never resist kissing the soft flesh of her hands... ANYWAYS.) and scold firmly but softly that _he's got a bigger brain than that, doesn't he? How could he possibly think that?_ She would then promptly launch into a cheesy rant that only Keiko-now-Urameshi could pull off seriously about how he's a better man than anyone else she could have chosen, how he's given her so much more than she could have ever hoped to get. This is the point where he knows he would kiss her. And kiss her some more. And kiss her until they were fumbling their way into the bedroom-

Okay. So maybe he wouldn't regret telling her for the hands-on-face thing or the hot makeup sex to come afterward. But he just... He doesn't want her to _deal with it_. He doesn't want her to feel any more sadness and worry on his part than she already has, doesn't want her to be reminded of days past when he made her cry or angry or both. Of all the times he should have been there, but wasn't.

... He just wants her to want to be with him. That's it.

Call him a selfish prick, but he thinks that's all that really matters in the end.

...

**A/N: Aaand that's a wrap, folks! :) Thank you to all that have read this story, and especially those that have stuck with me since the beginning... Regardless that this was only five chapters. In drabbles. I just like making myself look bigger and badder than I am :P**

**I am hoping to write two "twenty truths" style fics for the fandom in the future, one being dedicated to YuKei and one having at least a little bit of them in there (because, seriously, I can't resist). So if you liked this (and would like each fact to be shorter) check it out when it's posted! :)... Or review this. Or both. Whichevahs ;D**


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